Monday, November 23, 2009

30 Days Of Christmas In Love

O.K......So...Yes I am now feeling just a little bit guilty about my last post which was
for me nothing more than creative venting, but for my readers may have seemed
more like a barrage of negativity towards my loving husband.
Therefor I have decided to balance the scales, so to speak. Over the next 30 days before Christmas I will write at least one reason for each day that I love my hubby.

Of course I have one small snafu in my plans already, we are
leaving today to spend Thanksgiving in a place where there is no signal for my computer.
Soooo...I guess I'll have to think of & share the first 7 reasons in this post. But will share the rest, daily ,on my return. And here goes...................

I Love my husband because.....

He is a softie.
(Let me explain) When we first met, the umpteenth remake of the classic love story "An Affair To Remember"was in theaters..this one I believe titled "Love Affair" with Annette Bening & Warren Beatty. We had both seen the movie. And then one night the old original version was playing on the television. So...we watched it. Only he was watching from his
home (300 miles from where I lived) and I was watching in my home. So of course it played out like a scene from yet another classic romantic movie, "When Harry Met Sally". Because during the commercials we would call each other on the phone to compare notes on which we liked better, the original or the remake.
And at the end of the movie when Nicky Ferrantie ( Cary Grant) opens the bedroom door of
Terri McKay (Deborah Kerr) and spies the portrait hanging above her bed, thus proving that she
of course had a "very good reason " for not meeting him atop the Empire State Building, .....
I spoke to my honey on the phone and ....Yes, you guessed it.... he was crying!
He still does...cry when watching sappy movie scenes, or at weddings, and of course at the birth of each of our children. That first time though was when I knew... he was a keeper!

Day 2
We have A LOT in common.
We were both raised in the south under similar circumstances. The main ingredient: dysfunction.
We both were children of divorce.Luckily we are both committed to rising above our pasts and giving our children the stability neither of us had.
Both love music(all except rap) & arts. Both love traveling. Both spontaneous types. Obviously both enjoy good movies. Both Love Sushi--this is important!

Day 3
He is generous.
He will quite often leave a very large tip to someone who has provided a service just to brighten their day. He gives his time(not just $) to charitable causes. He gave up 6 0r 7 Fourth of July
holidays with his own children, to volunteer at a summer camp for children with cancer. He spent a week each time taking these sick little ones for boat rides. Of course most of them would want to be pulled on tubes behind the boat, which would make him a nervous wreck every year,
because most of them would have medical devices & tubes connected to their torso's which were NOT supposed to get real wet!
Also a few years in a row he was a "Secret Santa". He spent the wee hours of the night before Christmas anonymously delivering presents to children who had recently lost a parent.

Day 4
I know,I know. Sounds corny. Tom Cruise aint got nothin' on my man though!
He honestly knows ALL of my likes and dislikes and knows what I want...BEFORE..I want it.
He finishes my sentences quite often & steals the thought from my brain before my mouth can say it.

Day 5
He is a GREAT DAD.
He spends lots of time teaching our children lots of things. He teaches them math by asking them questions which inspire them to solve mathematical equations. He is good at this. He finds creative ways to help them learn. He will take them out to play ball or ride bikes. He lets them steer the boat--which they just LOVE--when water is smooth & traffic is slow. He gives them all the attention they desire and need ,mixed with just the right amount of structure and direction.

Day 6
He Pampers Me
He gives me just about everything a girl could want(within reason).
A nice faithful husband, a nice place to call home, lots of clothes, lots & LOTS of shoes---of course, jewelry, a nice car to drive...ok it's actually a gas guzzling SUV,but the best thing he gives me is the ability for me to raise our children without working outside of the home.

Day 7
He is a fantastic cook.
He actually cooks more than and better than me. This was the clincher for me when we were dating. One year for Thanksgiving he cooked for me. And I meeeaaan COOKED!!
See I was a flight attendant who had to work on all holidays. My holiday meals were always spent on the run either in an airport restaurant, a Cracker Barrel somewhere, or worst of all...
on the plane! So one year he invited me to fly to his hometown to eat Thanksgiving Dinner with his family. As I devoured the scrumptious meal with every one of my favorite dishes....even my favorite first I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but then as I looked around I noticed he wasn't eating much and neither were any of the others. Why? You might ask.
Well as it turned out, they had all eaten their Thanksgiving dinner much earlier in the day.
But because I had to fly in so late after working.....this wonderful man had prepared this entire meal, by himself, JUST FOR ME! And he and his family sat and ate again, just for me. So that I wouldn't dine alone on Thanksgiving. Can you imagine? What a gem he is!!

STAY tuned for more to come....after THANKSGIVING.

Scripture Of The Day
Marriage must be respected by all,
and the marriage
bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers.
HEBREWS 13 : 4


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Does The Thought Count Any More?

In this post I would like to share with you a much debated issue, which has been an ongoing
source of tension for my husband and me. It occurs with every birthday and anniversary, as well as on Valentines Day, Father's Day, & most of all at Christmas. It goes something like this....
when these occasions approach, as any loving wife would do, I try for weeks before-hand to figure out just the right gift to show my husband that he is loved. Actually, I usually give several smaller ones as opposed to just one. Perhaps this is due to the fact that in my own childhood presents were often scarce, due to financial hardships. So I like to shower my loved ones with presents on special occasions. But over the years it has gotten increasingly difficult to give anything to my husband.
He pretty much has just about everything ,"materially" speaking, that he wants, except maybe a 70 ft. Trawler boat. And so he just tosses things aside after opening them, usually. Doesn't even pretend to be excited or surprised or even interested in whatever the gift may be. Oh sure...he smiles and says thank you, but 9 times out of ten the gift goes unopened, unused and evidently unappreciated. He even told me last year that he would rather I only give things which have some "special" emotional meaning behind them, like a collage of pictures of our kids, or a picture I have painted, or a CD with his favorite music..... you get the idea. And YES I know that it is better to give something from the heart with personal time invested to create it. But it is also much MUCH harder to do than to purchase some bobble or trinket from a shop somewhere.
And this is where we have a problem.
My hubby has a double standard. He LOVES to give....not so much- to receive! He has spoiled me over the years with wonderful gifts....all bought in stores, of course. Clothes, jewelry, gadgets, my favorite fluffy socks & pj's, and even a new car(3 times). And B_E_L_I_E_V_E me.....I love being a good way!
My problem is compounded too by the fact that his birthday....falls just 2 weeks before Christmas! Last year, after he had tossed aside his birthday presents without bothering to take them out of the store packages. My feelings were hurt for the umpteenth time and I was actually considering just giving him a letter for Christmas that year. I spent hours awake at night thinking about the letter's contents, and of course seething more and more with each composed word. The letter explained how I felt that while it is a great thing to be blessed with a giving nature, It is actually...I feel...just as important, maybe even more so, to be able to receive. Otherwise, how can we truly RECEIVE our heavenly Father's love if we are not able to do so with others?
What did he think of this heartfelt present? You may wonder.
Well....of course.....his loving wife never gave it to him. And...Yes....I am taking a good gamble that he won't read this post! If he does....what can I say....LOVE YOU HUBBY!! :)
Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights;
with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning.
JAMES 1: 17

Friday, November 20, 2009

In A Skinny Minute

So I was watching t.v. this morning and in between all of the stories about or advertisements for "Twilight", they touched on another topic in the news....Kate Moss' statement on her preference to be "skinny". And all of a sudden there is all of this feigned shock and disgust that she may be influencing young minds with such a statement. Well.....EXCUSE ME....but who do they think they are kidding? The press and media have done nothing in the last 30 years but propel the idea that any woman wearing anything greater than a size 2 is pudgy and sizes 4-6 downright FAT.
After that I guess we're all apparently grotesque! I have had to struggle for years now to stay in my size 6 jeans. And I can fit in them alright, which isn't half bad if you consider the fact that my youngest child is not yet a year old. But like many who are in denial, truth be said...I am really a size 8. I was size 6 when I was 18. I have had 3 kids.....and have gray hairs sprouting from my scalp....but I am made to feel ,by the pressures of the material world we live in, that I'd better keep a small waist. And then you have to worry whether or not your husband is gonna trade you in for the newer SKINNIER model. O.K., well I don't think that I need to worry so much about my husband, but I have several friends who are dealing with their straying spouses mid-life crisis.
I think that I touched on this in an earlier blog post but, I watched a YOU-TUBE clip a few months ago which was appropriately titled "Evolution" it had been posted by Dove.I believe it was part of their campaign to help change the way women see themselves. Kudo's to Dove !
The video focuses on a model who is being prepped for a photo shoot. And in the beginning she has 0 make-up on her face. She is just an ordinary looking girl, has some freckles on her nose and a zit or two. Probably wouldn't turn many heads if you saw her walking down the street. They brilliantly capture, in time-lapse format, every detail of the miraculous transformation of this young woman. Which includes hair extensions,added by a professional stylist, of course, a perfect ton of makeup,followed by touch-up after touch-up to expertly erase any imperfections and add just the right amount of 'beauty' which hadn't been given by God. By the end of the video she is what many would consider striking and some might even say...gorgeous. With 0 flaws. The final scene as the camera pans away shows the finished product, a full size Billboard...not Times Square I think...but just as well could be. There are plenty of them there which began just like this one. (To view the video clip use this link)

I just wonder what we are saying to our children? My son is 6 and is as thin as a rail, but worries that his belly is too big. I know that there are health risks to being overweight. But I don't think this is the reason for this skewed sense of what is considered attractive in our society. I can't say enough good things about a company like Dove who is willing to go beyond the norm to create real change, important and needed CHANGE!
As for people like Kate Moss....Go EAT!!!!

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Proverbs 31: 30

Thursday, November 19, 2009


If You could see me cheeks are red. I cannot believe that yet another one of my awesome and very faithful followers has again nominated me for this award.
I am sending my most sincere THANKS for this award to:
aynzan "Musings of Mom2Four" at

As with every award there are rules to be followed:

* Thank person who gave you the award.
*Copy award.
*Post it in your blog.
*Tell us 7 things that your readers don't know about you.
*Link 7 new bloggers as recipients.
*Notify winners of award with comment on their blog.
*Keep being awesome.
7 Awesome Blogger Nominees

*A Book With A View*
*Because It's Family*
*Girl Talk*
*Making A Change*
*Politics, What?*
*The Choir Girl*
7 Things You Still May Not Know

*Purple is my favorite color
*I am a fan of Audrey Hepburn films
*My mother resembled Ms. Hepburn in her 20's
*I hate to have to blow my nose when I am sick
*I have been on 5 of the 7 continents on Earth
*I get embarrassed to pray aloud
*I pray every day that I will break the curse of bad genes in my family
and live long enough to have grandchildren!

Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly
and the pride of sons is their fathers.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


What on Earth is all this hubbub about Twilight? I went for a power walk with a girl friend yesterday and she was telling me about how she had noticed all of these soccer moms reading
this book. O.K...... they were actually baseball moms but you get the idea. I told her that I had seen some preview for a movie coming out soon about werewolves or vampires or some silly thing like that. And she informed me that it is actually a sequel and that I should rent the first movie and MUST SEE this new release when it comes out. I said "Okeedokie". End of subject. I had no intention of course of renting the movie and could take or leave the sequel. But then I turned on the radio this morning and the topic of conversation on the local morning talk show.....Twilight (the book series). They had a male listener on who was telling how his wife had read the series and was nagging him to do so. And he had laughed inwardly, knowing that he wasn't gonna be caught dead reading some chick-flick worthy book. Then he was at work recently on a construction job site, and was surprised to see all of these big burly, MANLY men reading and talking about....Twilight. He said they were actually taking turns on their lunch break reading the book aloud to each other! What a sight that must have been!
Well.....I return home from dropping the kids at school and the t.v. is on with a morning show and ...YES guessed it...they were talking about Twilight ! I have never been one to crumble under peer pressure but I don't wish to be one of these stodgy people who turns their nose up to anything they are unfamiliar with either. My dilemma though is... do I rent the first movie and make my friend happy or do I buy the book and read the series first? You know what they always say about the book being 100 times better than the movie. Any Opinions?

Listen! I am telling you a mystery:
We will not all fall asleep, but we will all be changed,
in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Is it just me? Or is anyone else out there
SERIOUSLY deprived of sleep?
My husband and I both share this problem.
It is amazing to me at our ages that we manage to make it through most days. I mean....We aren't
spring chickens anymore. My husband can qualify for free checking in a few years and I will
have the dreaded "M" word to look forward to.
Menopause.....there I said it!
And between the two of us, we maybe get 8 hours of sleep on a GOOD night.....4 for him.....4 for me. We have different reasons for our sleep
issues though. My problem is almost a year old, sucks on a binky, and wakes me up to swig milk from a baa-baa several times each night! OK....She's not a "PROBLEM" but her inability to sleep through the night for almost a year now......IS!!
My husband on the other hand can't sleep because.........
1. His back aches
2.He started watching t.v. and then couldn't fall asleep
3. He was reading a book too good to put down

4. The neighbors dogs were barking
5. Someone was having a party two houses down from ours
(WE ARE AN ACRE from the house next door)
6. and my personal favorite....HE.....heard the baby cry.

So needless to say when HE wakes up each morning complaining about how
I just want to scream!!!!!! If I didn't have to wake up with the baby e-v-e-r-y night I would be sleeping like.....a baby! YEAH what a silly phrase that one is.

I have seen all of the stories in the news about how "MILLIONS of Americans" have trouble sleeping. Although I find it hard to believe that sleeplessness is just an affliction on this continent. I am sure the Britt's and Aussies and everyone else is counting sheep too!
What do people in countries without sheep count? I wonder.
AND...YES .....BELIEVE ME.....I know that sleep deprivation is unhealthy over an extended period of time.
The good news is......I think....we may be be turning a new leaf. For the last two nights......
I have been blessed with a full nights sleep!!! The baby F_I_N_A_L_L_Y slept!!!!!
I am a NEW woman! Now I just need to figure out how to get my other hubby....
to sleep. STAY TUNED!


A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest, PROVERBS 6: 10


If you came to my site today because you were passed an award by me. First let me say......


I was passed the "FROM ME TO YOU" flowers award two times this week AND now the Superior Scribbler Award for the second time. That's 2 awards 4 times in 1 week! WOW!

If you were passed the "FROM ME TO YOU" flowers award...see the post "Speechless"

If you were passed the "Superior Scribbler" Award....scroll to bottom of this post.

[ Thanks to " Better Man" at
for the "Superior" award!]

If you are not here about anything to do with an award, but you get all fuzzy and warm inside
just thinking about things like that and you are really curious to know

then you too need to scroll to my last post "SPEECHLESS".



As a recipient of the Superior Scribbler Award there are rules to be followed as always.

Superior Scribbler Rules :

*Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass the Award to 5 most deserving Bloggy friends.

*Each Superior Scribbler must link to the Author & name of the blog from whom he/she received the Award.

*Each Superior Scribbler must display the Award on his/her blog and link to this post which explains the award.

*Each blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler award must visit this post:


* "S. K. SAINI" at

* "R.A.W." at

* "Reflections OF A Chocoholic" at

* "Tales From My Head" at

* " A Child's Dark Memories" at

Saturday, November 14, 2009


O.K. ............That is what I am.......Speechless!!
I was so surprised upon receiving this award the first time, followed by the Superior Scribbler. But to have it passed to me again is truly AWESOME!!!
My sincere Thanks go to Better Man "Becoming A Better Person" at

A few simple rules apply to the recipients of this award.

1.Thank the person who gave you the award.
2.Copy the Award.
3.Post it in your blog.
4. Tell Us 7 things that your readers don't know.
5. Link 7 new bloggers as recipients.
6. Notify winners of award with comment on their blog.
7. Keep being Awesome.

7 Most Deserving New Recipients:

1. "Petchildo" at (GREAT PHOTOS)

2. "Don't Even Go There" at (a Traveler's Guide)

3. "DIY Wedding Stationery" at (Informative site for creative projects)
4. "Learning To Be Selfish" at (Insightful posts)

5. "John Deere Mom" at ( Interesting posts & Great Pics)
6. "Mommy's Kitchen" at ( Fun Recipe's & Enticing Photos)
7. "2be4tunate" at
( Ideas & Information on Success)

************************************************************************************** 7 Things You Still Don't Know About Me

1. I am a "Roach-aphobic"! ....can't stand the little creepy crawlers!

2. My father died of Alzheimer's and I worry that I will get it some day.

3. I found the Sapphire rainbow 10 year anniversary ring(a gift from my loving Husband) which I wrote about having lost in a previous post. YAY YAY YAY! Whew!!!!

4. I have jumped from a 10,000 ft. with a parachute on my back before...but....

5. I have a fear of death. I worry about it all-- the--- time!

6. In another life I would like to be a piano playing photographer& missionary who happened to be a famous singer. (Almost sounds a bit like Angelina Jolie--- who my husband likes more than I do)

7. I am a CARB Addict!!! I confess!!! So sue me .

Scripture Of The Day
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God,
so that He may exalt you in due time,
1 PETER 5 : 6

Thursday, November 12, 2009


My daughter created this title recently when she finished reading the latest version
of the book series which apparently e-v-e-r-y pre-teen girl or boy is reading....."Diary of a Wimpy Kid". I told her she should think about contacting the author to see if he wants to start a new series using her idea! LOL. I have it on loan, of course, for use in my blog until then.
But it got me thinking......Are we just a bunch of whiny, bratty, spoiled & grumpy grownups?
The reason I am asking this is because I am noticing a trend within the current population of adults. We seem to think that we are "entitled" to receive things. We feel we should "have" what everyone else "has". Whether or not we have earned it or even deserve to have it.
I mean..... who were THE JONES' anyways? Because it seems that e-v-e-r-yone wants to keep up with them. A perfect example of spoiled or "Grumpy" grownups played itself out in my own family this week. With the holidays fast approaching, someone decided that it might be nice to have the entire extended family get together to celebrate over a nice home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner. But the idea had barely been formed when all of a sudden there began all of this conjecture over the WAY that things should be done.
My husband had kindly offered up the use of our vacation home in the mountains as a base of operation for the whole shindig. And arranged through a very generous neighbor the use of 3 additional vacation residences to house the whole gang for the weekend. But instead of sounding GRATEFUL.........there was all of this "whining" and "complaining" by some about how far the drive would be, and who would stay in which house with which relative(YES......RELATIVE....not strangers...GEEEEEZ) and could they bring their pets? And do the places have decent fireplaces? 'Cause you know we gotta have that! And what about the menu? Who will cook what? There can't be any free-loaders!
REEEEALY!!!!!! OMG! AND this is just my spoiled family!
I know there are many more out there just like mine. It is funny though because....we teach our kids to say "Please" and "Thank you" and to be kind to others, and be appreciative. But somewhere along the way many of us "Grownups" have forgotten our own advice.

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faith,

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


O.K. Double-WOW !!! Two awards in one week!
What's a girl to do? Well firstly, I must make a correction to my previous post "My First Award".
When I logged on today I had received a message on my site informing me that I had received an award. I thought that it was my first nomination.
But I later found out that I had also been awarded this Superior Scribbler Award ....4 days prior.....and had missed seeing mention of it on the blog site of the person who nominated me. So I must apologize for the oversight....and say THANK YOU so very much to Being Me at
I am honored to have been chosen. As with any award in the blogger world there are rules to follow upon receiving the award. They are as follows:
* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy friends.

* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & name of the blog from whom he/she has received the award.

* Each Superior Scribbler must display the award on his/her blog and link to This post which explains The award.

*Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post:
and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List.
That way, we'll be able to keep up to date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor.

* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.
And Now....The Award Goes TO......

1. Arlee "Tossing It Out" at

2.Julie "47 And Starting Over" at

3.Denise "Prayers Go Up, Blessings Come Down" at

4.Andrea "Arise 2 Write" at

5.Lady Di/Amy "Daily Doses Of Mama Drama" at



YAY! What an unexpected yet pleasant surprise!
I logged on today...with the intention of writing a new post(and I was struggling with this), but instead found that I have been given an AWESOME award! MY First award of any kind related to my blog! I am truly honored to receive it.

It was given by Janice whose blog "My Diary" can be found at . I am very thankful to Janice for passing the award to me.
As with any award it has a few steps or rules the recipient must follow after receiving the award. And they are:

1. Thank the person who gave the award to you.

2. Copy award.

3. Post it in your blog.

4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don't know.

Link 7 new bloggers as recipients.

6. Notify winners of award with comment on their blog .

7. Keep being awesome!


1. I am shy.

2. I wish I were younger so that I could have more kids.

3. I have a God given ability to figure out, by ear ,how to play
on the piano.

4. I hate my hair.

5. If I won the Lottery I would hire a full-time housekeeper
(so that I could spend all of my time focused on my kids).

6. I drowned in a canal when I was 4 years old,
was rescued by a teenager,pronounced dead at the scene,revived by my mother
and lived to tell the story.

7. I am a certified scuba diver! (That's right... I Love the water)

Now for their very hard work as fellow bloggers, I have nominated the following blogs
as recipients of this award:

1.Peggy "Little Things In Life" at

2.Teri K "A Book With A view" at

3. Better Man "Becoming A Better Person" at

4.Aynzan " Musings of mom2four" at

5.Niqi "Niqis Nook" at

6.Sannita "Life and Painthings" at

7. Delwyn "A Hazy Moon" at

****GOOD LUCK****HAPPY BLOGGING******CONGRATS************************

The wicked man earns an empty wage,
but the one who sows righteousness, a true reward.
PROVERBS: 11 : 18

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


I was reading another blogger's post recently in which the author shared an experience where they felt that at one moment, frozen in time(many years ago), they had made a decision. An important, life altering kind of decision which went against the advice they received at the time from others and more importantly went against that little voice in their head which was tugging them in a different direction. And in that that single moment in time....a huge part of the path their future life would take was formed. If they had only followed that faint little voice back then.....oh what a different life they might have today. A better life? Maybe. But who's to say?
I have a moment in my life just like this. Where a single event occurred, and I was faced with a decision which once made ,definitely had a big effect on where I am today. While I do feel that I may have made the wrong choice in that moment and it is one of only a few regrets I have in my life. I do not often dwell on it. I firmly believe that I am certainly where God wanted me to be right now. But after reading the other post, I came to one important realization after all of these years about my experience . "My decision" had in fact been made, based on the advice I received from a teacher. Someone I trusted and looked up to. This person , I am sure, felt that they were trying to be helpful to me at the time. And while their advice was not entirely off base. They failed to take into consideration some important ramifications which could occur if that advice was taken. Basically, this person, in a way... "changed my life". And so I feel the need to share....A bit of advice about giving advice. And since you can see by now that I am long winded today....let me start from the beginning.
When I was in the 7th grade in school, I decided to learn to play an instrument. So I joined the band. But I was a little late in making this decision and all of the sections in the band were already pretty full with other students. So I was given 2 choices of instrument to play. I could play the drums....or.....I could play something I had never even heard of called the baritone. Well you have to have the picture squarely in your head of what this meant. I was a girl. And one who could stand under a clothesline in the rain and stay dry. At least that's what I was told plenty of times. All of the students in the drum section(back then) were boys. All of the students in the baritone section? That's right .....boys. And in case you, too, have never heard of the is basically a baby tuba. Which means it is a H-U-G-E instrument! And it so happens to be the one I chose.
For the next 5 years through junior high and high school, everywhere that I went too! I still have the calluses on my palms today from carrying that monstrosity around. actually grew on me. I became the best darned female baritone player in the state at the time. I won lots of awards, was written about in several newspaper articles, and was included in the national musical directory book "Who's Who In Music" my graduating year in high school. I was then offered 3 scholarships in Music by Universities in my home state. I began my college
adventure that fall as most newly emancipated young adults do with much excitement , anticipation and just a bit of nervousness thrown in for good measure. I was a Music major and all seemed right with the world. But then one day...out of the happened. That one moment in time....which changed ....everything!! My private music instructor(The "teacher" I referred to earlier) stopped me after a lesson one day. He said to me..."You are a very talented musician." " But I see that you are majoring in Music performance." " Have you considered how you will use this degree to earn a living after college?" "ON this particular instrument?" " The Baritone." " They aren't really used in symphonies, it is primarily a marching band instrument." "Odds of becoming an accomplished artist like Wynton Marsalis, on trumpet or Kenny G on sax are stacked against you." " You might ought to consider changing your major." And there it a ton of bricks. With that 1 single piece of whole world crumbled before my eyes. All of the years I had spent on that instrument, in music, working for a career in music. In shambles! He was right. I had no idea would make a living in this field. I hadn't really ever given it much thought. All I knew in that moment... was I couldn't imagine starting ALL over...on yet another instrument. And I had no idea what ...if any other field of study I might have any interest in. SO......I QUIT! That's right. I quit the instrument and I quit school. I forfeited my scholarship. And went to work full time at ....Taco Hell. OH YEAH.
And all these years later, Do I blame that teacher for my decision to quit school? No. That was my mistake...all on my biggest regret in life. But....I do wish that he had taken a closer look at the effect that this piece of advice might have ....before it came spewing from his mouth. If he was going to give such a life altering opinion about my future, he could have done a little follow up and provided further a teacher. But he left me hanging!
And this is my advice to anyone who cares...If you give advice to someone...especially if you are a teacher, be careful what you say! Your advice may have a bigger, broader effect than you may even realize. Sometimes it is necessary to follow up on advice that has been given. And sometimes it should not be given at all.
Now in case you are wondering......No! I did not retire as an employee of a fast food chain. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I had a long, successful career in the aviation industry
for many years. And now I am mom. A career in it's own rite. But whether I am giving advice to my children or someone else, maybe even in the blogging world, I will at the very least take my own advice and tread carefully!

I possess good advice and competence;
I have understanding and strength.


Monday, November 2, 2009


Does anyone, besides me, have kids who fight like CATS & DOGS with their siblings? Of course... you all do! But I have to wonder some days if mine have taken it to a whole new level of sibling rivalry! Like the Cain & Abel kind of stuff.
This morning is a prime example. The two oldest(a girl and a boy), who are 17 months apart in age (could this be the crux of the problem?),were eating breakfast before setting off to school. They started throwing little insults out to each other for no apparent reason. I tried to redirect them back into getting ready for school. This worked for about a nano- second and they were right back at it! This time taking it up a shoved the other on the way down the hall to brush teeth. "HEY"!!! I called. " Cut It OUT"! "Just get ready for school!" Their doors both slammed in unison. Of course they share a bathroom though, so a minute or two go the insults back and forth again. Finally ...I have had it! And I bring out my BIG to speak, the thing that I can "take away" that will have the biggest impact. "OK.....If you two don't STOP fighting...... N_O_W.... then.....Your Halloween candy goes away for a couple of days!!! ----------------------ALL IS QUIET for 1.....2......3.....4.....5.....6.....7....seconds......8......9....then
A big thumping sound followed by my son SCREAMING-BLOODY-MURDER "OWWWW" he cries. More screaming still. I go running to see what has happened. But of course ....I have a pretty good idea before I even get there. As I approach the scene, my son is laying on the floor next to the bathroom door, holding his head and YES...still screaming. "WHAT Happened?" I demand. "He Hit his head on the corner by the door" says my daughter. "And did you maybe help him hit his head?" I ask. Her comment...of course. "Get your books and Go Wait Outside!!" I tell her. I am of course furious with them both at this point. But I need to see if we might be on the way to an E.R. somewhere. Luckily...other than a huge whelt on the front side of his forehead, my son seems to be O.K. But it is time for him to leave for school, so I am praying there is no concussion. I walked him outside to wait for their ride to school and explain to them both how "wrong" it is for them to fight this way. My of course...crying now too...because she KNOWS she's in BIG trouble. "You need to apologize to each other." I tell them. Grunts and scoffing ensue....heads both down, looking only at the ground. "Sorry" says one of them. "SO--rryyyy" snips the other. You guess which one has the attiTUDE. So I tell my daughter she will go straight to her room after school--DO NOT PASS GO----and NO "candy" for 3 days! And then I give a big hug and say" I Love You". Their ride finally shows up and they are off to school.
Now I know some of you are maybe making judgements right now thinking that my children have learned this behavior... by examples set...perhaps from their parents. And to some extent...maybe you would be right. But hitting and pushing and shoving are NOT things they see their parents do in our household. Still.... I had to stop and think after they left...What if...he DID get a concussion and ended up in the hospital fighting for his life? It could happen. All because of sibling rivalry?
So what is the answer? Who is really responsible? Does it all go back to that same BAD apple that Eve plucked and ate in the Beginning? Was either she or Adam to blame for bad parenting when Cain killed Abel? I mean.... aside from _NOT EATING THE APPLE- was there something they should have done differently which could have ensured a more positive outcome for their children? I feel that my husband and I do about as good of a job as anyone else when it comes to our parenting strategies.
But we, as parents, can only do so much....and then hopefully our children will draw from some place deep inside their cores the "right" behavioral choices and decisions.

How good and pleasant it is when brothers can live together.
PSALM 133: 1