Sunday, August 2, 2009


I would like to know when it is o.k. to exhale and say " after this number of years of marriage...we are safe from divorce". I have been married now for 11 1/2 years to my first and hopefully only husband. And even though we have had our fair share of trials to overcome, I feel that we are on pretty good footing these days. I might even say we are the closest now that we have been in years. Which surprises me because we just endured a rather large challenge to the foundation of our marriage when our third child was born recently. You see, as my hubby likes to tell everyone, we had two children... a girl...and a boy...and we were done""!!! But here we are with our third, quite unexpected" little blessing" and as my husband says "we can qualify for free checking soon"....he turns 50 this December. I had worried, initially that the stress from this pregnancy and all of the bills which came along with it, would possibly be our breaking point. Due to my advanced age, 41 at the time, we had to have all kinds of special testing done(we are still getting the bills from this), at the insistence of my OB/GYN, to eliminate the possibility of any serious birth defects. Everything checked out fine... and we proceeded. I can't honestly tell you what decisions we might have made if the results had been different. But with my perfectly beautiful youngest child sitting next to me right now, I can say that I am glad that we didn't have to find out. Marriage is not ever easy! But I always thought growing up that once two people had been married for a long time, they stayed that way! I didn't base this assumption on the example set by my own parents, however, as they had divorced when I was 10 years old. And this occurred to me yesterday parents had been married for 12 years when they separated. So I guess I can't exhale yet! And the really scary thing is that a few years ago.... a woman that I know, who had been married for about 35 years shared fears that her own relationship had struggled in recent years. I mean....really... 35 yrs...and still not surely safe? Well maybe it's just me, but I think that if I manage to put up with my husband for that long(4 decades) and he then decides to leave me ...after that many years.... he'd better get some really good runnin' shoes! I can't say I wouldn't want to kill him!!




  1. Hello, I have enjoyed reading your writings. You do a great job and I think that's cool about having a 3rd baby. We are fortunate with just 1, I'm hoping more will come.

    My story "Fully Trust in God" is a real life experience and I welcome all to read it. I enjoy writing, and maybe soon I can publish something. For now this is a motivation for me.

  2. Hi, I can fully understand you, we struggle with many insecurities and worrying about our other half does not help. Be strong and persevere , breathe and pray. He can take a while (sometime... because we don't hear), but He always helps us find a way to find peace.

  3. My husband died unexpectedly last August, two weeks before our 29th anniversary. In a sense, a marriage is never safe. Bill was in the Navy, and someone once asked him how our marriage had survived when so many didn't. He talked about God first, then he said we were too stubborn to give up. There's a lot of truth to that! Try thinking this way instead -- you've been through so much already, and you're still here. Difficulties can make us stronger. Think of David, for example. And Paul, and so many great Christians who didn't know what was in them until they were tested.
    And please, don't let concerns for the future keep you from living today to the fullest. Think of the sparrows and lilies, and enjoy!

  4. This made interesting reading.A married couple should count on each other during the good and the bad times. If difficulties arose , they should be willing to take some counselling without walking out of the door immediately.And they must not act on the qiuck decisions taken in anger.

  5. I love your blog. I love reading this. Congrats on the third baby.