Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Friends.....this is what I am feeling compelled to write about today. I think it is funny that we are truly never completely sure who our real friends are. No matter how long they may have been in our lives. By "real" I mean the kind of friend who is always looking out for us...not just themselves. The kind of friend who not only doesn't get involved in idol gossip about their "friends", but isn't afraid step up and defend that same friend in their absence.
Now some people are lucky, they have friends that they have known all of their lives...they went through school together....survived the trials of puberty together....entered into the responsibilities of adulthood.... together... and are still the best of friends. These friends may be real. But they can still surprise us sometimes turning out to be our enemies, even after so many years. I was not one of those "lucky" ones just mentioned. My family moved CONSTANTLY! "Military brats" aint got nothin' on me. My parents were musicians during the 60's and 70's . They traveled from town to town and state to state looking for "gigs". Sometimes they took me with them. Other times I was left to live with "friends" for months on end, so that I could attend school. This kind of vagabond childhood made it impossible for me to keep friends of my own. I do, however, have a few "close" friends who have been in my life since my early adult years. One in particular has been a friend (almost like a sister) now for 20 years. Our friendship survived living together as roommates when we were young and single....moving to different parts of the country with our respective careers....each of us getting married( to men which we both thought were not good enough for our friend)....and now having children. But after all of these years we have come to a place where it is no longer guaranteed that our friendship will continue. This truly breaks my heart! I cannot believe it, even as I am writing these words. But make a long story short...I was right! The man she married wasn't good enough for her. He's now divorcing her after 13 years for "the other woman". Inspite of the fact that they have a 5 year old child together. And my friend (understandably heartbroken) has decided to give up.....on everything! Life....her child...her family...and finally(this is where I come in).....her friends. I am sure that given time....she will probably come to her senses and regain her strength and will hopefully realize that she has driven away all of those who actually DO care because of the one who didn't. In the meantime I am left to ponder the fact that a friendship which once seemed unbreakable, may be at an end after all of these years. But then.... much to my surprise, I have recently become very good friends with someone whom I once considered a foe. Wonders never cease!

The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.


  1. I am sure your friend will have a change of heart. She just needed to break away from all that probably reminded her of earlier life with her ex. To even give up on her child, she must be so utterly depressed that she took it out on all whom she love. But stay close, she might really need you at some point.

    As for me, when i mentioned the word divorce, the friends whom I thought were friends disappeared from my life. The change was sudden, it couldn't possibly be 'too busy'. I will not be too naive to hope that what I thought were not true. But I am grateful for those who remained.

  2. Your friend is really distressed, I hope she has someone to listen to her and lend a shoulder in her current time of need.
    Our friends sometimes make assumptions about us. And that keeps them away. Sometimes it's pride. We are all not perfect. We have different grades of friendship, we can share more with some than with others. Sometimes, we have to reach out.

  3. Thats perfect ! But time can cure evry thing in handz...